Life Lately

 Anakin (if you're not sure, yes that's my son's real name!) is almost one month old. It still feels like Tre and I just brought him home. A lot of people want their babies to stay small forever. Not me! I can't wait until Anakin is big enough to actually enjoy things. So far, the only thing he seems to like are eating and bathing.
I didn't think I was going to be the kind of mom that co-sleeps, breastfeeds, and co-bathes. I kind of thought that was "hippie stuff". I also didn't think Tre would support any of it. I'm glad that I have someone that is so understanding. I love him so much! Anakin does too. Tre is seriously so good with Anakin, it's shocked pretty much everyone. Especially me. Tre is not known for his patience, but he's usually the one up at three in the morning cuddleing Anakin. I am the biggest jerk if I don't get enough sleep, so I'm the one that's more likely to lose patience with Anakin.
I'm currently a stay at home mom. I get super bad cabin fever, but at the same time, I don't like to take Anakin outside without Tre. I see the looks I get when I do. I know that most people whisper "Another single black girl with a baby". Sometimes I just want to say: "if it makes you feel better, my husband is twenty six!" But, I don't think it's going to make much of a difference.
When Anakin was first born and even prior ot that, I had a severe case of the baby blues. Now I think it's post partum depression. Which really sucks because I'm not going on medication because I want to keep breastfeeding. I think breastfeeding is the best thing I can do for Anakin, I can't pump my breastmilk into a bottle anymore because the damn pump broke! So, I have to be the one that gets up in the middle of the night to feed him. I know Tre wants to help, but I just can't express enough milk. Maybe someday!